Chaps are one of the few items of clothing (would we say clothing?) that just keep on giving. They are neither accessory nor full trouser; neither practical nor particularly chic; but somehow they are also all of the above. Co-opted by many a pride parade from cowboy culture, chaps have evolved to become the ultimate could-care-less expression of one’s sexuality — you might not wear them on a first date, but they could very well be a hit among the club kid set at China Chalet every other month.
It’s been one day since COOLS covered the rise of the space cowgirl, but it seems we missed a crucial addition to the craze’s timeline: Fashion Nova’s take. This is the brand that brought you a knock-off of Kim Kardashian’s barely-there vintage Thierry Mugler within hours of her appearing publicly in the dress, so you best believe they’re going to dip their fast-fashion fingers into any pie to deliver anything that could remotely be a risqué trend. Enter: the Fashion Nova chaps — the crotchless, hip-less (?) stretch flares that afford you the rare opportunity of showing off that thong or those briefs that rarely see the light of day.
Unfortunately, however, the style doesn’t make for very easy wearing (why can you never have your cake and eat it, too?), in accordance with social norms. You want them, that’s obvious, you just don’t know where to wear them. We understand. Lucky for you, we have taken the time to compile some of the best—that is, most appropriate—scenarios which you can don the “Havana Nights” pants. Good luck out there.
Now this may seem like a controversial suggestion, but everyone knows, the closer your skin gets to the pew, the closer to God. And save for turning up to your Sunday service completely nude, this is the best you’re going to get.
2. Your liberal office Christmas party
Nothing says seasons greetings like your bare butt. You’re bound to turn heads and while everyone might have opted for a more winter-appropriate skirt/tights combination, they’re going to be damn sweaty when the dance floor starts pumping (fools) while you stay cool as a chapped cucumber.
3. Meeting the parents of your significant other
This needs very little explanation. Make sure to do a little pirouette—you’ll have won them over in no time.
4. The gym
Aren’t you tired of those constricting Nike tights? Don’t you want the freedom of carefree squatting, with the added aerodynamics of flares? Say no more, just pull out that $22.95.
5. A house party thrown in Calabasas
Because Fashion Nova. Obviously.
Or, as succinctly summated by @RiRisBFF:
You bitches… better fucking NOT! pic.twitter.com/YRQccFu3hb
— Trap.Money.Tippy💰 (@RiRisBFF) March 3, 2019