Hint: It involves bathing — LOTS of bathing

Into the Gloss’ Or Gotham set out on the brave and hilarious quest to live like Tom Ford, the designer known for the perfect luxury suit, yes, but also for giving a charismatic (and occasionally slightly frightening) direct quote like no other.

Gotham collected quotes from Ford interviews to glean a routine for how Ford might live his life day to day. It involves Hostess donuts, lots and lots of baths, and a tailored Fruit of the Loom undershirt. Harper’s Bazaar published a low-key infamous account of Ford’s daily routine in 2012 that Gotham largely drew from. Key things to know about one Tom Ford: he weighs himself every morning, he takes around four baths a day (though, according to this GQ piece, fatherhood has forced him to limit it to one per day), and he wakes up at 4:30 am.

By the end of the week, Gotham’s skin has dried out to the point where he’s squirting Ford’s Neroli Portofino body oil directly into the water and eating salmon Hostess Donettes on a place setting that looks like a “TOILETPAPER magazine spread.” Read this fine piece of experiential journalism in its full, very funny entirety here.

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