Unless you’re one of the lucky few who can keep away from all things Kardashian-Jenner, you’ve probably heard of Kourtney’s latest venture: Poosh. The secretive project has been tight-lipped by Kween Kourt, and while the Instagram page for the project gives us a tasteful naked Kardashian moment, it provides little to no information to what Poosh actually is.
Ever since the announcement of the cryptic project came out, the world has been on a frenzy asking, “WTF is Poosh?” While a trademark license filed earlier this year tells us that it’s going to be a website filled with articles and blog posts on the broad arrangement of “entertainment, exercise, fitness, health, wellness, fashion, interior decoration, nutrition, travel, parenting, and leisure,” we can’t help but beckon for more information.
Alas, that’s all of the official information we have on the subject. But, considering the fact that my Glossier Play hypothesis was 95% spot-on, I’ve got a pretty good knack for guessing. So, here are some of my guesses on the lucrative project up Kourtney Kardashian’s sleeve.
- A Luxury Tea Set Line
Look at the class and grace Kourtney embodies with her suggestively-placed tea cup. Clearly, she’s looking to sell some sexy, extremely expensive tea pots.
- A Penelope Disick Fan Club
If you binge watch Keeping Up WIth The Kardashians as much as I do, then you know that there are quite a few nicknames for Kourtney’s eldest daughter: P, Penny, Poppy, and… Poosh? Kardashian posted an Instagram photo of her and her daughter on March 11th with the caption, “Name: Penelope, Nickname: Poosh,” which only means one thing: a much-deserved Penelope Disick fanclub. Considering the fact that Penelope is the only one of her kids featured on the Poosh Instagram feed, this one seems likely.
- An Elite Workout Studio For Upper West Side Mothers
Move over, SoulCycle, because Kourtney Kardashian could be coming for your crown. Could it be that the eldest Kardashian created a high-intensity studio featuring a hybrid of krav maga and aqua cycling, all equipped with luxury post-workout bath houses? We wouldn’t put it past her.
- An Online Collection Of Kourtney’s Tasteful Nudes
She can’t just share one photo of herself baring all. No, no. This will definitely be an online album of all of her perfectly poised nudes, so everyone around the globe can appreciate Kourt looking like a snack, no matter where they are.
- A Keeping Up With The Kardashians Hoax
Oh, come on. We’re all thinking it.