The Hard Lessons I Learned Sober Raving
February 10, 2017
"I took my first ecstasy pill when I was 16 in Singapore. A skeevy skater who said he was awaiting trial for selling drugs—a crime punishable in that country by the death penalty—gave them to me because he had a crush on my friend. She and I took one each, tentatively. The skater flicked five into his mouth like jellybeans and got so fucked up he started flirting with lamposts. We spent the night dancing to hardstyle on the beach, Showtek's "Fuck the System" blaring through his cellphone."
"Drugs and raving became my pet obsessions. Experience teaches you chemical precision, and I concocted drug cocktails like a mixologist: ketamine as a garnish, never a main. Alcohol at the end, never mixed with opiates. G only if I had a dropper. Weed as the base, always. I hated being called a "party girl," but then I'd find myself waking up at 6 AM after oversleeping a disco nap, rolling up to the warehouse party, washing down a breakfast of oatmeal and ecstasy with Starbucks coffee outside, and thinking to myself, OK, maybe this isn't normal?"